I was never one of the ultra-thin people who could eat anything. But I was relatively thin and fit until I had Will. Unfortunately, circumstances beyond my control left me unable to exercise for six months of my pregnancy with him. I consoled myself with poor food choices and gained 67 pounds by the time I delivered him. I was so depressed when my body didn’t bounce back on its own like I wanted it to. That’s what everyone tells you — you have the baby, breastfeed and then all the pounds just melt away. Right? Not really. There is more to it then that, in my experience and the experience of many people I know.
About six weeks after having Will, I joined SparkPeople. Through that program (I really heart SparkPeople, so you will definitely hear more about it in the coming months), I shaved off about 40 pounds (33 pounds had come off after birth). I wanted to lose more, but ran into trouble with emotional eating and then with balancing living healthy and working full time again after a year.
When I got pregnant with Paige, I had gained about 15 pounds back. During the pregnancy, I gained 45 pounds by eating better and exercising more. I came out feeling and looking much better than the first time. But I still have a ways to go and that’s where I am now.
On the positive, in the one week since I started tracking my food and counting my calories like dollars, I have shed nine pounds. It wasn’t through deprivation or anything — I ate plenty — but through smart food choices and ensuring that I get enough nutrients.
I am losing weight because I don’t want to be part of the overweight culture of America. It’s not healthy. I want to live a long time and see my kids grow up, graduate from college, have careers, get married, have kids … and maybe even meet my great-grandkids. And I want to feel good about myself. I don’t know how overweight people do it, because I cannot look in the mirror with this extra pudge and not feel like there is just something wrong with it. It doesn’t make me feel beautiful or sexy or anything. I feel that way when I am fit and slim and HEALTHY.
Chances are, I will never be a size 2 or even a size 4. But that’s okay. As long as I am healthy and trim and in shape, I will be happy with myself. And hopefully that will help me live long.
P.S. That’s my official before shot from Jan. 1, 2008 . . .
